Why Play Small When You Can Live Big
You can be the most beautiful person in the world and
everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you,
but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter.
Every second that you spend on doubting your worth,
every moment that you use to criticise yourself;
is a second of your life wasted,
is a moment of your life thrown away.
It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
– C. JoyBell C.
Today’s post might upset you. It might make you feel uncomfortable.
Maybe you’ll be mad at yourself after reading it. Maybe you’ll be mad at me.
But whatever happens, it’s all good… because we all need more real talk in our lives.
Side note of warning: I intentionally wrote this post a little differently, so my language is – well, honest and colourful, exposing my heart and mind and what exists on the inside.
Why? Because our egos are tricky buggers – and yes, even after a long think about it, accompanied with an itch to ditch or fix – I’m sharing it anyway.
Today I want to talk about PLAYING SMALL.
About cheating ourselves out of the life we deserve…
Because we let our fears, insecurities and limiting beliefs run our show.
A week ago, I spent the afternoon writing a post on self-acceptance (a lot of which I am dealing with lately) and I decided to go for a walk down the beach to clear my head.
It was perfect weather and stunning scenery, but instead of blissing out, I started getting mad at myself.
Because I realised that even though I’ve come a LONG way in overcoming my fears over the past few years… they’re still affecting me.
Although I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone hundreds of times, reversed countless limiting beliefs, become more accepting of myself as a whole, I’m still not where I want to be.
And quite frankly, it pissed me off.
Because allowing fear – that hold-on-tight scary barrier – stop us from doing what we want and being who we really are…
Is such a bloody WASTE!
Here we are, full of potential, dreams and ideas.
With infinite power to create, connect and contribute…
Living in the most possibility-rich time in history…
Yet we are so caught up in a lack of confidence, in self-doubt, in the underlying unconscious cries of ‘I am not worthy’ and ‘I am not good enough’.
Stories we tell ourselves that stop us SHINING in the world, souls left unexpressed.
All because we’re afraid of what might or might not happen, of being rejected, that people will judge, or how we’ll feel if it doesn’t work out exactly the way we want.
I’m just gonna say it…
I call bulls**t!
We only have one shot at life.
Every day that passes we never get back.
Every moment in our life ONLY comes once.
When we get scared and play small, that’s it. We’ve lost our chance.
We’ve squandered an opportunity to live life to the fullest.
I spent a lot of time reflecting on where in my life I’m playing small.
Peeling back the layers and getting crystal clear as to what’s really going on underneath.
And in doing so, I found that my biggest resistance was the fear of owning my full potential.
Many of our fears are based on the workings of the ego – the part of us that is focused on getting recognition or ostracism.
And that part of me that needed certainty was a hindrance to my experiencing greater levels of awareness.
There’s only one way through fear and that’s to transform it into the clarity of breathing fully into it.
And so I did.
I stopped being my own worst enemy and started loving myself more. I re-COMMITTED to stepping up my game and decided to raise my own standards and step into my role as leader for TRUE change to occur. And the only way to do that is by BEING that change.
100% of the time, it requires a mindset shift.
The moment I became willing to let go of what I wanted, I experienced what was truly mine.
It’s an ongoing process and it feels crazy good. Realising I am love, meant I don’t have to DO anything to deserve it.
I am already worthy.
Paired with the faith that I am exactly where I need to be right now, there is nothing to look forward to except growth, expansion and an amazing ride.
And the work continues.
Every single day.
I want to invite you to do the same. I know it can be uncomfortable to confront our own darkness, to get brutally honest with ourselves.
But it’s the most worthwhile personal work we can ever do, because we really only have two choices.
We can look at these insecurities pro-actively and do the deep work…
We can let them run our life, keep settling for less than we deserve, and then deal with the consequences reactively.
In the spirit of all this, I want to share with you a super powerful quote from Marianne Williamson’s incredible book, A Return to Love:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
When we’re dimming our light, or playing small, or sabotaging ourselves, there’s only one way through and that’s to shine awareness on it. By shining a spotlight on the fog of fear and old beliefs we have about ourselves, we will see that they are neither true nor real.
That’s when we experience delicious clarity and a true sense of freedom.
Let me turn this over to you now.
- Where are YOU playing small in your life?
- In what specific situations are you squandering opportunities because of your fears and insecurities?
- What’s underneath it all? What limiting beliefs are creating your fears?
Open your heart, be vulnerable and share with me in the comments below. Calling it out means bringing it into the light, where it can be seen, and moved through.
I want to challenge you to get out of your own way and believe in yourself. No one else can rock YOU like you do.
No one else can empower you, but you.
I believe in you.
Much (tough) love,
If there’s someone in your life who you feel could benefit from stepping up and owning their light, please spread the love and share this article with them.