How to Break Free of Not Feeling Good Enough
If we’re afraid of how we’re seen in the world, it’s just feedback that we see ourselves that way…
When we don’t feel good enough we:
- Edit ourselves
- Become inauthentic… so much so that if it goes on long enough, we don’t know who we are anymore or what we love…
So, how do we overcome the feeling of not good enough?
I get this question all the time, because I’m inviting my clients to take steps outside their comfort zone, and if they don’t do the deeper work, they’ll just keep hitting up against the same inner blocks and it can sabotage their success.
So today I want to share ways to move through the feeling of not ‘good enough’ so you can use it to help you experience your wholeness.
The first step is to really slow it down… because if we’re judging or denying that part of ourselves, we won’t feel enough.
Of course we wouldn’t feel whole, because we’ve left a part of ourselves out.
The ‘bad’ parts also contain the key to our wholeness.
What you think is bad in you, is the missing piece, is a part of the puzzle to you feeling complete and enough.
Ironically, the last place you would think to look is where it’s been hiding…
We can project this scarcity mindset onto:
- Not enough time
- Not enough money
- I’m not enough
- I’m not a good enough mum or
- I’m not good enough because I’m “just” a mum
- I’m not authentic enough
- I’m not healthy enough
- I’m not spiritual enough
- I’m not successful enough
All these stories we make up about our worth, about who we really are.
Anything can trigger the story of not enough:
- A business venture didn’t go through..
- Not getting the client or the job…
- Somebody leaving us…
It can be our go to conclusion for just about anything.
The unconscious belief around this is that if I fix something about myself, or if I change something outside then I won’t feel this way.
i.e. If I was pretty enough, smart enough, more successful, at a healthy weight, etc – then I wouldn’t have to feel this.
We go out into society looking for ways for life to tell us we are enough which comes in the form of approval, acceptance, validation, recognition and attention in the world.
Here are some main core ways we look for this in the world:
- Maybe you have the job title or status to help you not feel that way.
- Or maybe you want to be the one who “knows” – the intelligent one.
- You could feel you are the helper. (When you’re helping others, you’ll get that sense of security and safety in your life.)
There are lots of different ways we can look for it – but none of it works.
At least not for a long period of time.
So I want to invite you into this deeper conversation with me and let’s really look at these stories we make up about ourselves.
Because here’s the thing: it’s really your PERSPECTIVE that is off and it’s actually not about you and has nothing to do with your worth at all!!
It’s not that you’re not enough – it’s that your perspective isn’t enough in that moment that you’re actually believing it.
Imagine if you were wearing your glasses and there was a dent or scratch on the lenses.
You’re looking at a table, and you’re trying to fix that dent or scratch on the table…
But the actual problem is in your perspective.
So the moment you take the glasses off, you would no longer project that problem onto the world or in your life.
Here’s the catch: Our ego is really tricky.
As soon as you see something a particular way, the mind will find evidence for why it’s true.
And if you don’t change the structures of your mind, you will just replace one problem with another. One worry with another.
But when you start waking up out of the trance of not good enough, you start to feel your sense of alignment and radiance. And you’ll really be able to step forward and create what it is you’re wanting without the struggle and without you getting in your own way.
Let’s take my client as an example:
She came to see me and was in negotiations with somebody around doing some type of partnership in her business.
They proposed something which to her felt really low.
She was feeling really paralysed and thinking, “they don’t really respect me, they don’t value me…” when really it had nothing to do with her.
We really slowed it down for her to see that these were assumptions that her mind was making up.
I mean if you were to really look at it: she didn’t know if they could afford it, maybe they were frugal or had even hired somebody else in her profession and they thought they were giving her a deal compared to what they had done before. We didn’t really know.
So by her starting to wake up to this and say, “oh this isn’t really about me” and not project her interpretation of “not good enough” all over it, she was able to have an open hearted and honest conversation around what worked for her and what didn’t – without all the drama.
The first step is having the awareness. This is key.
I really want to make sure you get this because if you’re making this conclusion that you’re not good enough, it’s just a habit of thinking.
It’s not true.
It’s just feedback that you’re caught in your story in that moment.
The more you wake up to that story, the more you weaken the pattern of it.
And that’s the good news.
It’s not like you even need to change anything because it’s not true.
You are more than enough.
Let’s take the analogy of somebody sleeping and they’re having a nightmare.
Rather than going back into your dream to try and fix the nightmare so it’s happy, you just wake up from it.
It’s the same thing with this. It’s an illusion, it’s just a thought-based experience that the mind projects on to us.
The way you can break it is by bringing awareness to it.
Just drop it. Don’t feed it.
- You’ll feel your sense of power.
- You’ll feel how capable you are.
- You’ll feel your wholeness.
And I want that for you.
When you’re not lost in the story, you will actually start to experience this for yourself.
Because we’re not adding to anything, you’re just removing the clouds that block this awareness and this experience.
I’m here to remind you that you are so much more than you can ever imagine yourself to be.
And I’m here to remind you how incredible you already are.
If you know anybody in your world who needs this message, click forward and let them know that you are here for them and that you see them.
May this support you in more fully embodying the fullness of who you really are.
In full support of you,