How to Avoid the Busy Trap
The planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.
~ David W. Orr
You know that busyness doesn’t necessarily equal success, right?
Then why are you still beating yourself up about how much you’re not achieving, not accomplishing, not placing a big, fat TICK! next to?
I’ve got an inkling as to why.
Firstly, and from the outside looking in, I’d say you’re *still* white-knuckle gripping an out-dated, conditioned belief that you are only as worthy as your body and brain are busy.
So I’m going to bust a cap in the ass of this mindset.
Because I’m tired. I’m tired of people falling prey to an external pressure, casting our attention “Out There” for too long…
And I’m also tired of us leaning into our accomplishments for validation.
Celebrate your success? YES.
But allowing yourself to be defined by them? No.
Not because your achievements are better than you, but because YOU (the real you) transcends any and all conceivable achievements.
And – surprise, surprise – I’m also tired of being so hard on myself too. You see, my own conditioned programming is that I’m not good enough unless I am a high achiever – and much of my worth was very much tied up in how much I accomplished.
But here’s what I came to realise pretty quickly:
Busyness is self-serving.
I am personally right in the middle of this period at the moment and am watching my external world shift and change dramatically as old forms and structures are rapidly falling away, and this incredible space is being created as a platform for the new to rush in.
So for me, this process has been about surrendering to my soul and knowing that everything that has been built in my life from a space of need, fear or ego, is crumbling so that my higher truth can guide my life.
So, how do we flip this? How can we stop getting caught in the busy trap and learn how to surrender to the space that is needed?
Get Honest and Call Out Your Story.
The first part is always the most confronting.
If you want to get to the root cause of what is creating this pattern, you have to do some inner detective work. Where do you feel you are not enough? What parts of yourself have you judged as not being enough?
What are You Really Seeking?
If you’re a bit stressed out and concerned that you are not quite doing enough in the world – not achieving enough, not exercising enough, not going full steam ahead in life to what you think you should be – while others around you are excelling… give yourself permission to feel that way now.
We all have a time to shine and we can’t be turned all the way up all of the time!!
Many of my clients really identify with their achievements and who they are in the world.
But you are not your resume. You are not your Facebook description. These are all just expressions of what you do and what you enjoy.
Check in with how you want to feel.
You may think you are seeking one particular thing, but ultimately you are doing that thing so you can feel a certain way. Open up your journal and see what spills out.
Pull Back, Breathe and Wait for Your Time.
If that fear in you is saying, “you need to get out there and do more and you need to prove yourself, or you need to push harder…” I’m telling you to pull back, breathe and wait for your time.
I’m not talking about those moments when you’re in inspiration mode.
There are times to go out there and there are times to sit back, forecast and envision things.
As Ekhart Tolle says:
“When we get quiet, the universe is getting to know itself through us; when we expand, the universe is creating through us.
It is just as important to retreat.”
Make Space for the Future to Show Up
Just because what you want isn’t here today, doesn’t mean you should fill the empty space while you wait for it to arrive.
Letting some of the spaces in your life be blank and open can be uncomfortable. Yes, it’s going to make you wince a bit especially if that’s your conditioning.
But you are just one mental reframe away from turning spaciousness into personal power.
It can be a feeling of total exhilaration. The rush of openness, the obviousness of possibility… the space to unfold into deeper truths… that attract brighter realities.
What if we rocked this spaciousness? Felt the perimeter of ourselves. Relished the silence. Made friends with the peace that’s always waiting for us.
Return to Love
Once you become aware and realise that you are more than your achievements and your accomplishments – more than your dreams – everything will shift.
As I give myself some space, I feel inspired. I feel that I can simply sit, get present and everything will flow. I am able to reconnect with my passion by making room for what I love. I am letting go of so many of the things I feel I need to do and I am creating space.
Life will scoop you up and make a run for it sometimes, but when it offers you a reprieve, an odd trough to break up the peaks, or even just a plateau, take it! Take it with wide, open arms, and be thankful for the purposeful pause.
Your time to pounce back into the game is coming; momentum is building. For now, enjoy the presence of who you are in this world, find your bearings, cook yourself a nice meal, and heed the call when it feels right.
The whole point of this post:
You have permission to slow down.
To be successful doesn’t equal busy.
Can you relate to this message? Leave me a comment below and let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you.
As always, thank you for being here. I’m deeply grateful that I get to walk this path with you.
Help a friend reframe their existential crisis and share this post. It might be the one thing someone needs to read to spark change in their life.